Careful What You Wish For…

Hello, my name is Donners, and I’m a Nyanaddict. It’s been seven days since my last fix and…well, it’s not going so well. I’ve got the shakes a bit, I keep seeing babies everywhere, and I’m uncontrollably irritable and agitated. I feel that I am in desperate need of a li’l fix. Alls I wants is just a little rubs or three on a little warm peachfuzzy head. A bit of snug snug munchdown, or even just a tuck and a squeeze. Hell, right now I’ll happily change a diaper – I don’t care. Even just a chance to smell the baby farm again…

I’ve been wishing for the past two months that I didn’t have to take the bus every day to go see my daughter. Whoever was listening granted my wish and for the last week I haven’t had to do so. I’ve had a full-blown sinus attack for since last Friday and have been enjoying all of the glamourous perks that come along with it – including doctor’s orders to stay away from the hospital. You can’t be sick in the NICU – it’s just not a possibility. There is way too much at stake, starting with Nyana and her rough little struggling lungs and spreading outwards to the nurses, doctors, other babies, parents, families – you just can’t go in there when you’re sick. So last Friday night when I had the sniffles and a pang of guilt for getting too close to her, I knew what my only option was.

So you would think that with a week off, I’d have plenty of time to sit around and blog up something, eh? Yes, plenty of free time indeed. Free time to kill some zombies, maybe, and it’s been a ton of fun. Sorry, folks, but without being able to see my babygirl I have to think about something other than what I’m missing out on – and videogames are the addiction I gave up for Nyana so it’s only natural I go there…last weekend I played more in two days than I did in the previous four weeks, and it was sweet. I can’t just write about how sick I am or how much I wish I was there. That’s just not me. I have to completely distract myself – or risk going batty – but even that can only last for so long.

I hear she’s getting big now. Up over five pounds – who knows how much she weighs now? Has she grown out of more of her clothes in the past week? It’s OK, we just got another fresh couple fresh batches… What are her oxygen levels looking like? How’s she doing with her feeds? She had an eye test and a blood transfusion and an chest x-ray and a whole bunch of things that I don’t even know about and I don’t even have an idea of how big her head is now! It’s driving me slightly crazy! I half expect to go in there next and see her sitting there reading a magazine and talking on her cell to her friends. A week is a long time for a guy with a vivid imagination.

A week. One long week. I was hoping to be at the hospital tonight. It’s been a long time and I’m mostly feeling better but there’s still a nagging voice in the back of my head and I have just the faintest hint of stuffy nose in my voice. I’d probably be made by the first nurse I spoke to and then hustled out quickly. It’s so frustrating but I just can’t take the risk. To put the cherry on the sundae of it all is that just as I’m feeling better – tomorrow night – I have a ticket to the Robyn show here in Vancouver. Yes, that’s the same 1997 “Show Me Love” one-hit wonder Robyn. She’s still making music except that now it’s way better. You should check it out. Anyways, I got it on presale 10 days before Nyana was even born. I’ve been waiting for this show for a while, and it will be first one I’ve been to in years. Yes, Y-E-A-R-S (see videogame addiction, above). I’ve known I was taking Nov. 19th off from the hospital for two months – did it have to come at the end of a week-long quarantine?

All it means in the end is that I’m looking ahead to one helluva Saturday. It will be an epic day of reunion at the hospital – songs will be sung, stories will be told, and diapers will definitely be changed. We may even go for a field trip to the Easy-Glide. As if that wasn’t enough, it will be topped off by a classic Leafs vs. Habs hockey game in the evening.  A good buddy who is a Habs fan is coming over to watch with us, and that’s always a good time. Maybe I’ll get to chat with Nyana’s Habs Fan Uncle as well…Saturday is definitely shaping up to be a good day, all I have to do is get through tomorrow.

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About Donners

Thirtysomething father to The Royal Princess of The Sunshine Brigade, a 27 week preemie who survived 222 days in the NICU. The Queen and I are still crazy in love, and life in Vancouver's West End is getting back to a whole new normal that we've always been waiting for but never knew we would get quite like this.
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