Don’t Worry, You’ll Do Fine

worry
v. worried, worrying, worries
v.intr.

  1. To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.
  2. To feel anxious, distressed, or troubled.
  3. To bother or annoy, as with petty complaints.

How on earth is it possible for me to be so worried about every little thing? After the seemingly unending weeks and months we spent surrounded by doctors and nurses and the fear of the unknown, I’m more worried now that she’s home than I ever was while we were in the NICU. In the hospital, we had a safety net of professionals to tell us at all times if what we were doing was correct, and if not, how to do it properly. We were told what cues to look for if she was in distress, and told how to react if a situation arose. When we were discharged we were handed a stack of printed notes on how to care for our child and her tackle. We were more than prepared to handle this on our own—we’d just had a seven month crash course in parenting. Who could be more prepared to bring a baby home than us?

So, go figure, now that we’re home my list of worries is unending.

Is she sleeping enough?
Is she sleeping too much?
Did I give her the right med just now?
Did I measure the right amount?
Do I have enough syringes?
Did I remember to rinse her mouth with water after her puffer?
When was the last time she pooped?
Did her poop look normal?
Do I need to bathe her every day?
Is the bathwater too hot?
Too cold?
Is she bored?
Do I need to entertain her more?
Does she want me to leave her alone?
Is there water in the humidifier pot of her bipap machine?
Is there enough oxgyen in the tank?
Did I remember to charge the battery?
Did I program the pump correctly?
Is she allergic to the cats?
Does she like her outside walks?
Is the sun in her eyes?
Is she tired?
Is she sleeping too much?
Is she growing?
Is she hitting the right milestones?
Does she like me?
Will I do this right?
Will I break her?

Of course I don’t think about all of these things all of the time, but at any given moment I can find myself in the middle of my day, thinking about one or three or five of the items on the above list. Two weeks ago, outside of the hospital the only things I needed to worry about were Did I remember to pay the hydro bill? and What do I want for dinner? I’m suddenly responsible for a fourteen pound human, and knowing that she’s reliant on her Dad and me for her every need has me just a bit nervous that we’ll miss something important and somehow scar her for life. I know that the fact I’m worrying about all these little things means that I’ll do just fine, but still, it’s hard not to worry.

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About Mrs. B

Wife, mother, marketer--not always in that order. Lover of fine food, good company, and exceptional grammar. Mother of one former micro-preemie and one full-term monster baby. Building childhood memories in Vancouver's suburbs.
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10 Responses to Don’t Worry, You’ll Do Fine

  1. We worry, we thrive… good mama.

  2. Lynn duncan says:

    I think this just means you are a normal good parent!

  3. Twiggy says:

    I was going to say the same thing! I wish I could tell you that the worries go away. They just change over time. You guys are doing a super job with Ny!

  4. Stacey Feehan says:

    Most of those are worries that any good parent has. Most parents’ list of worries don’t include the medical worries, but some include different medical worries. With practice and time things will get less worrisome, but they will never go away. I imagine your own mums can tell you that they still have a list of worries about their grown children. But you are doing it! You will worry, but you will still do fine!

  5. Juju says:

    Don’t Worry, You’ll Do Fine. Heh.

  6. Duncan & Dorothy Gillies says:

    Hi Karen, Don & Nyana
    As I was reading, I was thinking that your ‘worries’ would be what any parent would feel – then I read the other comments and sure enough, they all say that you are not alone in your ‘worries’. Of course, you will get your best advice from folks like me (no kids!!). I think it would be more of a concern if you did not think these thoughts – I think it means you are taking the parenting business seriously.
    You are all doing great – keep it up. Dorothy & Duncan

  7. Linda says:

    Parent: n.
    1. a father or mother;
    2. a person acting as a father or mother;
    3. any organism in relationship to its offspring

    The above definitions come from the Collins English Dictionary.

    Mum’s definition of Parent (n.)
    a mother or father who spends some, or a lot of time worrying about their child(ren). Normal and expected behavior.

    I you didn’t worry, Karen then I would be very worried about you as a parent!! Worry goes part and parcel of being a parent.

    Love you,
    Mum

  8. Ben Ton says:

    Karen,
    It’s because you care …. that you worry. That’s normal. I wish I could tell you that that will disappear but, as you know, our three are all in their 40s …. and hardly a day goes by when I’m not having a worried thought or two about at least one of them.

    The neat part of being a parent is what you are now, and will be, reminded of daily … that the worry is always offset by the sheer joy of being their Mom and Dad and remember this …. your ‘worry list’ will grow shorter with time and experience …. trust me.

  9. ShannonB says:

    I love that you listed sleeping too much twice. sadly that has never been one of my worries!

  10. Monika says:

    Unfortunately it sounds totally normal to me =P I think I had all the worries on this list and more. I keep asking when the worries will end, and people assure me that they never will.

    I’m finally getting around to checking out and following all of the Top 30 Vancouver Mom Bloggers! I hope I’ll see you at the event tomorrow!

    Monika @ Aias Dot Ca
    Blog: http://www.aias.ca
    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/aiasdotca

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